“People hardly ever say what they mean.” This is a takeaway I return to again and again.10 Things You’ll Learn from “Verbal Judo” by Dr. Jenkins, is packed with valuable information to de-escalate difficult situations and turn them into win-win outcomes. His book Verbal Judo, co-authored with Jerry B. Thompson now teaches his Verbal Judo course to police and other professionals across the United States. In the context of persuasion, the Golden Rule means to empathize with someone’s current position (pace them) until he (or she) feels you understand him, and can lead him to a desirable outcome.ĭr. You’ve heard the Golden Rule, to treat others as you’d like to be treated. Photo “Holy Warrior” by Thomas8047, Flickr, CC-By-2.0 Use words to engage, absorb tension via empathy, and de-escalate a situation. We can deflect words meant to trigger us, and we can use words to absorb tension and gain compliance. As professionals, we need to handle our emotions, not let them get the better of us. In these examples, actions, not words, make the difference. As much as the participants protested with their words… 100% of the participants administered high-voltage shocks. Hey it seems you’re here to learn more about persuasion, motivation, and influence… why don’t you sign up for my daily email? Click here now.Ī famous example of people’s actions and words being incongruent is the Milgram experiment, where participants willingly “shocked” a hidden actor because an authority told them to. He’s forgotten all about his promise when the next morning rolls around.

The employee that insists that he’ll be on time tomorrow is speaking out of embarrassment, not reason. The spouse, during an argument, who throws out the incorrect idea that “you never do the dishes! you never do the laundry!”is usually speaking from frustration, not from facts. “Verbal Judo” teaches you to redirect verbal aggression as a Professional The kid (or coworker) that grumbles throughout a task - is still doing that task (even though she’s not framing it in a positive way). Their words reflect those emotions, even if they act otherwise. Most people are driven by emotions, especially in highly-charged circumstances.

George j thompson